RUMOR: Jessica Simpson to Play Samus Aran in Metroid Movie

by VGChartz Staff, posted on 05 June 2010 / 6,688 Views

Internet rumors are great insights into what might happen, could happen, shouldn't happen, we want to happen... and when it's about a franchise as beloved as Metroid, you're sure to get a reaction.  Especially when you mention that nerd-love goddess Samus Aran may be played by Ms. Chicken-or-Fish herself, Jessica Simpson.

Let that possibility sink in for a minute.

She wants to reboot her movie career.  What better venue for that than taking a dump on the dreams of millions of Nintendo fans?  But wait, it gets better: Uwe Boll is rumored to be directing it, too.  This part seems so much more unlikely than Simpson as Samus.  But if Tara Reid can be in Alone in the Dark and if the Prince of Persia movie can not completely suck, I'm willing to believe that anything is possible.

We'll wait and see on this one.

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hagelt18 (on 13 September 2010)

This makes me want to hurt myself.

josewiisantos (on 08 June 2010)

wait am i having a nightmare?

Joelcool7 (on 06 June 2010)

Umm not happening. Nintendo would never liscense Metroid to Uwe Bol he has ruined so many game movies he's a legend of sucking. I won't even bother watching FarCry after Postal & BloodRayne theirs no way I'd give this guy my attention. Plus Uwe Bol bankrupted the studio that made the first BloodRayne the fact that anyone liscenses anything to him is beyond me!

weezy (on 06 June 2010)

Uwe Bol is a clown. I remember he tried to challenge a REAL director to a fight and he just sounded like a complete imbecile. Believe me I know what sounding like a complete imbecile is all about. Jessica Simpson??? I vote for Jessica Biel.

Sapphire (on 05 June 2010)

Please dont

bloodcrust (on 05 June 2010)

no!........NO! n..not Uwe Boll.......NOT Uwe Boll !!! PLEASE!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! dammit Nintendo! what the hell are you thinking if this is true???? haven't you seen his movies?? I know i didn't lol.

zardigan (on 05 June 2010)

"Ms Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to it's core story of love and adventure." Please be a joke... D:

Wickedshyn (on 05 June 2010)

April Fools right?

dbadboyz1 (on 05 June 2010)


Silver-Tiger (on 05 June 2010)

Did any Nintendo franchise ever get a movie? Seriously, I can't remember anyone, besides the Super Mario show.

forest-spirit (on 05 June 2010)

No way!!! *grabs gun*

Ssenkahdavic (on 05 June 2010)

" What better venue for that than taking a dump on the dreams of millions of Nintendo fans?" That is exactly what it would be too. Awful awful idea if it is true.

sguy78 (on 05 June 2010)

No way Nintendo lets any of this happen. I thought they were extremely hesitant to allow anything like this to go forward after the Mario movie.

All_Things_Sonic (on 05 June 2010)

0 no

primogen18 (on 05 June 2010)

Somebody please assassinate Boll, seriously there are so many petitions for him to stop and backlash, can nobody in the movie bizz see his movies are worthless? He doesn't have any "cult" or "underground" following like some other bad directors, he has no fans, his movies don't make anything. There is just no reason at all for him to direct another movie, Metroid destruction aside.

Darc Requiem (on 05 June 2010)

I don't think either rumor is true. If either IS true.....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Voltaire (on 05 June 2010) least shes somthing to look at.

Imphamis (on 05 June 2010)

Now I suddenly don't want Samus to speak anymore.

NoirSon (on 05 June 2010)

Sure, why not instead of Ridley or Mother Brain being the bad guys, let's make it Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. We can have McGruber play Samus' side kick and James Franco the doomed love interest.

SHMUPGurus (on 05 June 2010)

Two words: God NO!

Theo (on 05 June 2010)

Roflmao! That's hilarious, whether it's true or not.

chriscox1121 (on 05 June 2010)

They should let Uma Thurman be samus!

SosusOCR (on 05 June 2010)

Oh shit

mysticwolf (on 05 June 2010)

I guess we'll know the truth in 10 days.

Damned_Charr (on 05 June 2010)

No No No No No No No No No. NO. Do not ruin my most beloved franchise. Other M is already looking to be an upset.

Naum (on 05 June 2010)

Jessica Simpson and Uwe boll?? talk about epic failure if that would happen :-)

Bman54 (on 05 June 2010)

Don't you DARE let Uwe Boll direct it, Nintendo! And Jessica SImpsson is not an action star, so she just wouldn't fit as Samus.

Mr Khan (on 05 June 2010)

Nintendo would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever let this happen. Lest i lose all faith in them. A Metroid movie i could possibly live with, but Nintendo would never make it a low-budget horror story like this...

BoneArk (on 05 June 2010)

This will ruin the Metroid franchise if this is true,but, I don't think it will be her.

twistedcellz (on 05 June 2010)

nintendo will never let that happen they dont need desperate money like others companies (ubisoft) plus the only way to make metroid movie would be cgi

richardhutnik (on 05 June 2010)

Was the Uwe Boll rumor generated before or AFTER Jessica Simpson was rumored to be in the movie? I feel like it is the first of April reading this stuff.

JWS (on 05 June 2010)

My question is, why can't they treat video game movies like they treat superhero movies? They make superhero movies dark, edgy, with well written scripts and hire actors that can act. If jessica simpson is hired to star in this it will end up like mortal combat. By choosing such a poor actress, it shows they probably have a jokey script with cheesy one liners, little money for special effects and have a director that knows nothing about the metriod fanchise.

Blast Caliber (on 05 June 2010)

Jessica Simpson as Samus Aran? Hell no. She doesn't fit as Samus and Samus deserves someone better.

Cifuoco87 (on 05 June 2010)

Hope it's just a rumor..... If not...... then.... NO NO NO NO..... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...NO NO NO!

naznatips (on 05 June 2010)

I'd rather have someone who could actually act, thanks.

saicho (on 05 June 2010)

If I have to choose, I'd rather have Jessica Simpson as Samus true but without Uwe Boll directing. It would be much worse if Uwe Boll is directing and a good actress plays Samus

hsrob (on 05 June 2010)

Please no......after seeing Scarlett Johansson in Ironman 2 I could MAYBE see her doing it, but that's only if they really have to. If I had a say in it I would say it should never be made into a movie, unless of course, it was done by Christopher Nolan.

CitizenOfVerona (on 05 June 2010)

Am I the only one who doesn't want a Metroid movie at all? It's one of my favorite franchises and given the history of previous movie based games, I don't want to see it be a flop. I don't think the franchise is big enough to warrant a film. I'll be happy with Other M thank you.

Killy_Vorkosigan (on 05 June 2010)

Moreover I don't care who is in that suit, I want to see some Metroid action, with a stuntman in the Powersuit.

Killy_Vorkosigan (on 05 June 2010)

Video games movies are just so full of fail, I think Anderson and their producer should be hunged by their own b***ocks because they dare to tarnish the reputation of such beloved games just to put a name on their cultural money making diarrhea. But once again, we gamers are the one to blame because we are the first to go and watch these movies in theatre. I remember I felt so ripped off after Mortal Kombat the movie. I was 13 yo. What an idiot I was.

gog85 (on 05 June 2010)

- Nintendo didn't like the way Super Mario Bros movie turned out so it's very unlikely that Nintendo would allow another try at any of their franchises - with Uwe Boll's streak of bad vg movies, i doubt they would choose him if they decided to allow another movie - Jessica Simpson just doesn't suit the part. A much better choice would be Anna Torv (Fringe [Olivia Dunham], Heavenly Sword [Nariko])

Stefan.De.Machtige (on 05 June 2010)

There's no way Nintendo is going to allow that one. A movie at all. Remember a certain Mario-movie.

mmnin (on 05 June 2010)

At this point, I seriously doubt another Nintendo game is going to be made into a movie.

ClaudeLv250 (on 05 June 2010)

I don't believe it for a second.

siavm (on 05 June 2010)

No just no.

VivaLaWiida (on 05 June 2010)

Uwe Boll = Fail

kleen (on 05 June 2010)

I'm hoping the movie wont be bad(if it is real). Nintendo probably won't let them release it if it turns out bad cause of what happened with the mario movie lol.

Diablerie (on 05 June 2010)

@TX109 You better watch out, Boll might challenge you to a boxing match just to prove to you that he is indeed a good director... And on topic, NO.

Games4Fun (on 05 June 2010)

No that is all

badgenome (on 05 June 2010)

I know they can do some crazy things with CGI, but Jessica Simpson in the Zero Suit may be beyond them.

Ckoal (on 05 June 2010)

Uhg... Well I mean maybe if she gets some acting lessons and really tries to do the role properly I mean then i guess I can't hate on her.. But I am not happy as of right now... She really needs some work.

Cross-X (on 05 June 2010)

Nah no thanks.

menx64 (on 05 June 2010)

NO, just no...

badgenome (on 05 June 2010)


SmokedHostage (on 05 June 2010)


thekitchensink (on 05 June 2010)

Needs more Angelina Jolie.

novasonic (on 05 June 2010)

Don't even fucking joke about that shit!

palancas7 (on 05 June 2010)

There's no Metroid movie.

TX109 (on 05 June 2010)

1: ...weren't they going to do this before...with the lady that played th3 DX in Terminator 3 2: if Uwe Boll is the director, it is already going to fail. 3: i couldnt take jessica simpson as samus seriously. she is not "hardcore" enough and has that goddamn accent. 4: let us all hope this isnt true.

scottie (on 05 June 2010)

Samus does not speak, and ALWAYS wears her armour - does it really matter who the actress is? Also, if they break the first rule I aint watching it, if they break the second then we just need an actress who looks good in the zero-suit

DarkisWR (on 05 June 2010) guys are dense. Do you honestly think a game to movie will cater to your views? They need to make money...hence why theyd bring in someone that alot of folks know and like. Imo I say ley sigorny weaver play the part...with all the cgi we have we can retouch here to be hot as ^&*@! And we all know she's one tuff chick

superchunk (on 05 June 2010)

LOL only good part is that Samus is silent in games, so Simpson won't have to speak.

superchunk (on 05 June 2010)

Sorry, but what acting has she done that was good? Movie will suck and it will piss me off as it has a lot of potential. WTF. Tomb Raider got Jolie, why does Metroid, which is FAR greater of a game, get Simpson?

themizarkshow (on 05 June 2010)

She'd be hot as Samus, but I don't think she could pull off the badassery aspect of the character. And her accent would make her sound like some kinda space cowgirl. This ain't Cowboy Bebop... this is Metroid.

ssj12 (on 05 June 2010)

movie will be horrid confirmed

kain_kusanagi (on 05 June 2010)


KylieDog (on 05 June 2010)

Not tough enough.