Internet rumors are great insights into what might happen, could happen, shouldn't happen, we want to happen... and when it's about a franchise as beloved as Metroid, you're sure to get a reaction. Especially when you mention that nerd-love goddess Samus Aran may be played by Ms. Chicken-or-Fish herself, Jessica Simpson.
Let that possibility sink in for a minute.
She wants to reboot her movie career. What better venue for that than taking a dump on the dreams of millions of Nintendo fans? But wait, it gets better: Uwe Boll is rumored to be directing it, too. This part seems so much more unlikely than Simpson as Samus. But if Tara Reid can be in Alone in the Dark and if the Prince of Persia movie can not completely suck, I'm willing to believe that anything is possible.
We'll wait and see on this one.