By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use. Close
TalonMan's Epic E3 Journey: From Patty Melts to Booth Babes - P6

TalonMan's Epic E3 Journey: From Patty Melts to Booth Babes - P6 - Article

by Pat Fass , posted on 29 June 2010 / 2,231 Views

Introduction

In the articles that follow, I will be bringing you along my fantastic adventure through Downtown LA - from the pre-flight jitters to the mess my final leg of the journey became, I will detail every exciting moment of this trip. I will outline what the E3 experience delivered for me - while giving you a glimpse into what it was like to meet some of the 'anonymous' personas of VGChartz that up till this weekend, I had only known through IM's and avatar pictures.

So, take a break from the bombardment of E3 media for a few minutes - sit back and enjoy the ride, as we hit the ground running and explore my very first E3 journey...

Part 1          Part 2          Part 3          Part 4          Part 5

 

Thursday - June 17th, 2010
Post-E3:  And You All Wonder Why the TalonMan Hates Flying???

5:00am - I arrive at the Alamo rental return. Once again, I'm expecting a fight - I had, after all, contracted and paid for a compact car, and was in fact driving up in an SUV. "Here's the receipt for your GPS - have a nice day!" - okey dokey, no problems to be had and I'm thinking the day is starting off on a good note.


5:20am - The Alamo shuttle drops me off at the terminal and as soon as I walk through the door, I realize any good feelings that I might have been having after the rental return, are quickly dashed by the mob of 80 or so people in the baggage check-in line that has all of THREE employees working. Immediately, I'm regretting not leaving for the airport earlier - crap.

I get in line and make my way up to the counter. When I finally get to the front of the line, I overhear the teller notify a potential passenger that they need to get their boarding pass from the self check-in kiosk, before they can check their bag. What the F? Are you kidding me?!?!? Crap - crap!!!


6:00am - I hop out of line, race over to the kiosk, get my boarding pass, and run back to the baggage check-in line. After sitting through the line once again, I manage to make it to the counter when I'm "politely" informed, "Sorry, the plane is now boarding and we can no longer check baggage."

Let me pause there for a moment while you take that in - because even as I just typed that sentence, I can feel my blood pressure starting to rise once again. @*&@#*@!!!!!


6:45am - I've been directed to an area labeled 'Special Services' - let me tell you something, there is absolutely NO 'service' here, and the treatment is anything BUT 'special'. This line has well over 100 people in it and only TWO people working!!!! Dear God in heaven, what the hell did I do to deserve this.

So, I stand in this line for what seem like an eternity. I wipe a small tear from my eye as I look at the flight monitor (which seems to be perfectly placed to torture individuals like myself) and see that my flight has now departed. I'm officially stranded at LAX. **cry**


7:30am - I finally get to the counter where I'm told every flight to Memphis, Tennessee is booked. I retort, "I'm really not LOOKING to get to Tennessee - I'm trying to get to Newark!". Oh, in that case - we'll put you on a standby flight for Cincinnati, Ohio where you can connect to Newark.

Ok, now I've NEVER missed a flight in my entire life, so this whole 'standby' concept is new to me. I ask the woman exactly what this entails and she tells me, "Well, basically you wait for the plane to board and if there is room, you'll get a seat". Alright, so how does this flight look? Is it booked? Do I have a chance? "Right now, it looks pretty good."

Not much of a choice, I guess - so I take my boarding passes and head up to the gate. Flight isn't leaving until 12:30pm, so I have time to kill now.


8:00am - I check my FRIGGIN bag at the self check-in station, and head outside to burn some time. I text my wife, she's getting pissed off (not so much with me, but with the situation). And I explain to her that it's not really THAT bad - if all goes according to plan, I should be landing in Newark around 11pm. Ha! Ha! HA!!!!!  


11:30am - I duck into a restaurant that's close to the departing gate called Jody-Maroni's. They apparently specialize in sausage sandwiches, so I grab a bite to eat and a beer. Funny, the stress and aggravation of having missed my flight seems to have vanquished any potential anxiety about getting on a plane. I'm so desperate to get home, I honestly don't seem to give a crap that I'm about to board a plane.


12:20pm - I'm waiting at the gate when the woman behind the counter makes an announcement. "Ladies and gentleman - this aircraft is currently overbooked and we are asking for volunteers who are willing to change their flights to please come to the desk. Volunteers who  choose to give up their seats will be provided with a $400 voucher and hotel accommodations." THIS is not a good sign for me. If there are people who have assigned seats that can't get on the plane, where the hell does that put me???

I head up to the counter in a panic and plead my case. The woman explains to me (in a cold and completely unfriendly manner) that they currently have 6 open seats, 10 seats whose occupants haven't checked-in yet, and 10 additional passengers that have assigned seats...    ...plus two people on standby and I'm the SECOND of the two. So, do the math. As it stands, there are 4 people with an assigned seat, for which there are no available seats. They need to get 4 people to give up their seats just to satisfy THOSE four. You can tell exactly where I fall on the priority scale here.

So I wait, anxiously. Everybody boards and I hear nothing from this woman. I go back up and ask what the situation is and am told, in no uncertain terms, I'm beat...   ...F!

I then proceed to ask her what my next course of action is and she tells me that she's automatically rolled me into the next standby for a flight to Cincinnati, Ohio at 10:55pm. Am I in the Twilight Zone here???? I look at her, my eyes now beginning to bulge in anger and say, "I DON' T WANT TO GO TO CINCINNATI - I'M TRYING TO GET TO NEWARK!!!!!". Obviously, this woman who is more concerned about missing her lunch hour, could give a rat's ass as to my plight and directs me to "SPECIAL SERVICES"! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


12:45pm - I'm "lucky" this time as it only takes me 30 minutes to navigate the Special Services line. I get to the teller who offers to put me on standby for a flight to Detroit, Michigan that leaves at 1:30pm. My stomach is in knots. I ask, once again, how does it look for that flight? "The bottom line is EVERY flight out of LAX is booked, so all we can do is continue to put you on standby flights and hope that you can find your way on."

Not fair! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR!!!!


1:00pm - I'm about resigned to the fact that I'm going to be stuck in Los Angeles for another night. Believe me, it's not like I wouldn't have enjoyed hanging out with the guys for another night and extend my vacation by another day. But I'm missing my family pretty bad at this point. My son has been a wreck all week (partly because he misses me, and partly because he's anxious to know all the things I've seen!), and I just want to get home.

My wife calls and, as I explain to her what's going on, she decides she is taking matters into her own hands. I pace around for a little while and she tells me that she just bought a ticket from Continental that has a non-stop to Newark leaving at 3:30pm. Could it be? Will I really be getting home today?!?!?

I race over to the Continental check-in station and pull out my boarding pass...    ...and then notice the price tag. $700!!!! HOLY CRAP! That's almost twice as much as my round-trip ticket! Nevermind, I don't care - I'm going home and that's that!


3:30pm - We're boarding the plane and I'm grateful. I have no fear of flying, I couldn't really care less. I just want to get airborne and get back to my family.

The plane backs out of the gate and then stops. And we sit there. And we sit there a bit longer. Then there is a thump, a bang, another bang. WTF? What the hell is going on with this plane? PLEASE LORD, I DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE ANYMORE!!!!

The pilot comes on the intercom, "We apologize for the delay. There seems to be some difficulty in getting the tow disengaged from the plane, so you may here some noise as they work to take care of that. We should be underway shortly." Perfect. Where I was completely calm and relieved about 10 minutes ago, I've now popped my first Xanax because my mind is racing "What if they damage the landing gear by beating the crap out of it getting this tow off? What if, while we're landing, the wheel snaps off because they broke something and we go skidding down the runway on the underside? There will be sparks, there will be fire, THERE WILL BE DEATH!!!!" AIYEEEE!!!!!!!!

Xanax kicks in and the next thing I know, we've landed in Newark, we're at the gate and half the plane has already emptied.


1:00am - I ride the escalator down to baggage claim (yeah, I'm going to have to track down that stupid bag that was checked with Delta and hope to God it somehow actually made it here!!) and see my beautiful wife waiting for me with a hug and a kiss. It's been quite an amazing trip, but it's good to be home...

Conclusion

I cannot say enough times, how much fun I really had. Even with all the heartache and pain caused by the travel, the show itself and the people I was with, made it all worthwhile. To close, let me give any of you 'potential' E3 visitors, some lessons and tips to go by and which I will be using the next time I make this excursion:

- Priceline is great...   ...for rental cars. The 'name your own price' thing really works here. I've used it many times in the past, and even though I expect a problem every time I approach the rental counter, I have YET to have a bad experience here. Perfect.

- On the other hand, Priceline isn't so good with the 'name your own price' for airlines. You have no choice as to what carrier you are stuck with, and no options as to flight times or the number of connections. You can pick the DATES of your travel, but that is it.

- Don't fly Delta - period. I would rather WALK to LA next time!!!

- While having a car is certainly convenient, it really isn't all that necessary. Brett had told me many times I wouldn't need it, but being the stubborn mule I am, I had to get one anyway. Aside from helping Brian and Nick get to the party, it pretty much remained in the parking garage (at $35 a day!) unused. Anything and everything you could need is within walking distance.

- Which brings me to - pack GOOD shoes! Can't tell you how painful the shin splints can be from walking back and forth from the convention center multiple times.

- Don't get plastered the night before an early morning conference. There's no guarantee Nintendo will be around to save you with hundreds of beautiful women.

- Get to Takami and prepare for an awesome evening.

- Make sure you pack plenty of Tums for all the late night rendezvous at IHOP and get yourself one TASTY Patty Melt before you leave!!!

 

PICTURE ROUND-UP!

My bed for the first few nights

 

 

That one on the left looks awfully comfy, Jacob!!!

 

 

Brett's office

 

 

The view from our room

 

 

The woman who snapped the DS closed before I could take a picture of her!

 

 

God bless you, Nintendo!

 

Seriously!!!

 

 

Waitress #1 at Takami - yowza, Brett!!

 

 

Waitress #2 at Takami - it's a miracle we ever left that place!

 

 

Trying to get the stupid flash to work on my camera...

 

 

Not sure how I did it, but my beer appears to be missing...  :(

 

 

I can still smell her perfume......    ......wow!

 

 

This was taken right after Liam nearly trashed Dean's sound equipment.

 

 

I won't be cruel, but it was one of these ladies that asked "What's a Pat Fass?"


More Articles

6 Comments
sirroman (on 30 June 2010)

TalonMan's face with the Ax lady seems like he didn't even noticed she had an Ax in his throat. Funny as hell.

Ahn... I may be making a fool of myself, but English isn't my native language so... What's Pat Fass? Is it, like, your name or some kind of joke?

  • 0
blunty51 (on 30 June 2010)

Lol that expression on your face in the pic with axe chick. Priceless.

  • 0
GodOfWar_3ever (on 30 June 2010)

Wow....the airport thing must have sucked balls.

  • 0
ghost_of_fazz (on 30 June 2010)

"I can still smell her perfume...... ......wow!" ... but she doesn't seems amused D:

And I just noticed your last name... I kinda like it

  • 0
TheSource (on 30 June 2010)

Fly in and out of Burbank dude...I got to Burbank 40 minutes before my flight left and ended up arriving at the gate just as my section of the flight was getting called.

  • 0
Comment was deleted...