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 Groundhog Sees His Shadow, Condems Planet to Four More Years of Last of Us Part II Discourse

Groundhog Sees His Shadow, Condems Planet to Four More Years of Last of Us Part II Discourse - Article

by Paul Broussard , posted on 01 April 2024 / 2,614 Views
Warning: The following contains spoilers for The Last of Us: Part II. If you haven't played the game yet, and have somehow avoided spoilers so far, this is your warning to click away if you wish for it to remain that way.

It’s that time of year again.

Thousands of journalists and gaming fans from around the world crowded around the famous industry groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil Spencer, to see if he would spot his shadow after he emerged from his hole. Gaming folklore states that if Phil doesn’t see his shadow, the industry will be free to move onto new and interesting topics, and if he does, we’ll spend another four years yelling about the same stuff in social media “discourse.”
  
  
To the regret of many, Punxsutawney Phil Spencer saw his shadow, meaning that comments sections around the internet will be filled with more arguing about whether the game paid respect to Joel, whether Ellie opting to spare Abby in the ending made sense, and whether that one dude Abby had sex with was a stand in for Neil Druckmann or not. 

“It’s important now, more than ever, for people to know how to prepare for something like this,” senior Twitter meteorologist and notable shitstorm chaser Bob Madcatz said. “We recommend that people limit their social media presence as much as possible, lock their doors and windows, and, if you value your sanity, do not click on any 15 post Twitter essays about why Joel’s death was a betrayal of everything you ever knew and loved.”
 
  
Gaming groundhog day is an important tradition in the industry, and one that, more often than not, results in an omen of continued discussion over very well-tread and tired topics. In 2023, Punxsutawney Phil Spencer saw his shadow, ensuring that even after Engage was released, the Fire Emblem community would keep talking about Edelgard and whether she was a war criminal. In 2022, the groundhog also spotted his shadow, damning the gaming industry to having to keep listening to David Jaffe’s opinions for some god forsaken reason. 

You have to go back to 2021 to find the last time the groundhog did not see his shadow, when the question at hand was if there would ever be any sort of satisfactory in-game conclusion to Halo 5’s cliffhanger ending.
  
   
Coincidentally, just as screening of the groundhog wrapped, HBO announced that filming for the second season of The Last of Us' TV show was finishing up. When asked about how they felt the news of more Twitter discourse would impact things, HBO glanced nervously to one side, where a thoroughly mutilated replica of Pedro Pascal was halfway sticking out of a dumpster, before coughing and saying “no comment.”
  

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5 Comments
Jaicee (on 01 April 2024)

Wait, I actually haven't seen the Owen-is-Druckmann argument before, lol! What is this? How many layers are there to this onion?

Anyway, thanks! I always look forward to these annual witticisms concerning fools in April.

  • 0
MTZehvor Jaicee (on 01 April 2024)

Yeah, it's uh...one of the stranger layers to the iceberg, to put it mildly, lol.

Basically when the game launched, certain individuals online thought that Owen had a resemblance to Druckmann, and decided that this must've been a purposeful attempt to self insert himself into the game. Some people stopped at claiming this was "only" him asking Owen to be modeled after himself, while others came up with some weirder theories...like that this whole thing was done so that he could somehow do motion capture for the sex scene with Abby.

It eventually got so out of control that Laura Bailey felt the need to tweet that she had not been involved in any motion capture with Druckmann.

  • +1
Jaicee MTZehvor (on 01 April 2024)

I vaguely remember hearing some wild claims about a Bailey-Druckmann sexual relationship before back in 2020, but don't recall delving into the finer details of it all. The alleged plot, as you describe it here, sounds even dumber than I could've imagined. :P

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padib MTZehvor (on 01 April 2024)

To be honest if Druckmann had been in the game, he would have been fucking himself.

  • +6
coolbeans (on 01 April 2024)

Tbh, I'd have gone with the Tiger Woods/Abby pic for main headline. Something about Tiger's smile that makes it a higher-tier shitpost. lol

  • 0