VGC Top Ten: Worst Videogame Character Names

by Stephen Kelley, posted on 03 February 2010 / 22,090 Views

They say that a name can make a man.  In the cases of these video game characters, one can only hope that these guys have a cool nickname to make up for the terrible moniker that was chosen for them at birth.  This is a top ten of the worst names given to video game characters, in no particular order.

 

 

mario.jpg picture by spdk1

Mario Mario (Super Mario Bros.)

 

Let’s face it; in order for “Super Mario Bros.” to make sense, the namesake's brothers are named Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.  Luigi Mario is a bad enough name, a name that sounds like a bad Japanese metal band, but his brother is the worst.  Mario went through a few name changes in his time, being called both “Jumpman” and “Mr. Video” at some point in his early life.  Poor Mario Mario, he was so embarrassed by his name he tried to hide it with a crappy set of nicknames.

 

 

DonkeyKong.jpg picture by spdk1

Donkey Kong (Donkey Kong)

 

Donkey Kong is a strong case for why characters should have their name changed sometimes when a game heads overseas.  Originally Shigeru Miyamoto believed "donkey" meant "stupid" in English (as in calling someone an ass), and assumed the name Donkey Kong would convey the sense "stupid ape" to an American audience.  OOPS!

 

 

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Sol Badguy (Guilty Gear)

 

Sol Badguy is one of those names that makes me laugh when I see it, no matter what.   It reminds me of the ludicrous names in many anime shows (Gundam comes to mind for bad names) in that it looks like someone looked at a dictionary for random words.  I guess we can chalk it up to the non-serious nature of the Guilty Gear series, but it’s still a silly name no matter how you slice it.

 

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Boomer Kuwanger (Mega Man X)

 

When picking animal names for Mega man X, you would think that an obscure name for a type of beetle would be pretty much the last item to chose.  In comes Boomer Kuwanger, confusing Americans for nearly 15 years now.  A Kuwanger, for those who do not know, is a stylized way to say "Kuwagata" or Stag beetle.  Instead of just saying “beetle” or even “Kuwagata” so folks could just look up the name, we were stuck with what sounds like Gibberish. 

 

 

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Noob Saibot (Mortal Kombat)

 

We all know the origin of the name Noob Saibot, being the name of the main two developers for Mortal Kombat.  That fact does not excuse how stupid the name is.  By just hearing the name I imagine a poorly equipped robot that fights with sai shorts words, rather than the black clad ninja that he is. 

 

 

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Seaman (Seaman)

 

Any teenager around during the introduction of the Sega Dreamcast can tell you exactly how hilarious the name “seaman” was with eloquence of Beavis and Butthead.  One quick look and the average guy will not see SEA MAN, as in two words, but SEMEN as in the bodily fluid. 

 

 

i_am_error.gif picture by spdk1

Error (Zelda 2)

 

While a simple mistranslation of Errol (as in Errol Flyn), the minor character Error has gained notoriety in the realm of funny videogame moments.  Walking up to this old man reveals the statement “I AM ERROR!” leading some to believe that some sort of sloppy programming had occurred, but this is not the case.  For those that have finished the game, Error pops up a few times and is spoken to by name by other characters, so it’s just a typo, and a dumb one at that.

 

 

DissidiaBartz.jpg picture by spdk1

Butz (FFV)

 

I know that the popular way to refer to Mr. Posterior nowadays, is Bartz, but many will point out that his name was originally “Butsu” or Butz or Butts.  whichever one you pick, he was still named after someone’s hindquarters.  In the days now where every Final Fantasy character is named after some kind of weather (Cloud, Squall, Lightning etc..) we can get spoiled by having games without silly names.  Final Fantasy V had another few bad names of note including “guido” a derogatory name for an Italian Americans, and X-death which is quite possibly less inspired than if the boss was called “Finale Bosse” or something.

 

 

Corn__Jet_Set_Radio_part_3_by_Wyntu.jpg picture by spdk1

Corn (JSRF)

 

I’ve seen characters named Cheese, Apple and any other number of food names, but Corn takes the cake as the least cool sounding food based name.  I guess it word be worse to be named "Hummus", but until that happens I stand by my statement.  At least he could have been trendy and spelled it “Korn” complete with backwards “R”, but I guess the mid nineties were too far gone when the game came out. 

 

art-poo.jpg picture by spdk1

 

Poo (Earthbound)

 

I guess it’s good the martial arts master of the game Earthbound wasn’t named Turd or something, but poo is pretty bad.  It’s kind of like when I order the pup u platter from the Chinese restaurant, I hope that what I am ordering is actually a plate of fried appetizers, and not what it sounds like.

 

 


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41 Comments

Surfingpichu (on 16 April 2010)

I don't know, this list has nothing on some of the characters from Tactics Ogre. (For one thing the entire game is called Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling together. A reference to Queen but a strange title none the less) The main character's name is Denim for one thing. That must count for something, but the best one is definitely Aloser, the archer. Just... Aloser. My god!


jefforange89 (on 07 February 2010)

Surprised nothing from Phoenix Wright is in here.


stof (on 04 February 2010)

Did anyone at Nintendo specifically say Error was a typo name? Because it always seemed pretty intentional to me. You walk in to a guys house and he says "I AM ERROR" and you think "what the hell, that ain't right" And then a few villages later someone says "GO TALK TO ERROR" and you have a "that's awesome" moment.


KnM (on 04 February 2010)

We can add Jack Russel from Radiata Story


gurglesletch (on 03 February 2010)

Some i get but others i don't.


NightDragon83 (on 03 February 2010)

Haha nice top 10! The Mario one reminds me of that classic scene in the Mario Bros. movie when the security guard asks them their names: Guard: Name? Mario: Mario. Guard: Last name. Mario: Mario! Guard to Luigi: Ok what's YOUR name? Luigi: Luigi. Guard: Luigi Luigi?!? Luigi: No... Luigi Mario! Guard: OK look.. how many Mario's are there between the two of you?!? Luigi: There's three! *counts on fingers* See... there's Mario Mario, and Luigi Mario! Guard: Mike... MIKE... help these Mario's to their cell!


halil23 (on 03 February 2010)

LOL epic! Good top ten. But what about Nero from Devil May Cry 4!! Now just thinking about it, gotta burn some back ups with Nero!


slaviknenych (on 03 February 2010)

Wow VGchartz actually made me LMAO for the first time XD! Poo, Errol, Noob, are especially funny


ChichiriMuyo (on 03 February 2010)

"That looked like an item equip list and not a list of the cast. Also Cloud, Squall, Snow, and Lighting pretty damned lame as well." I see nothing wrong with those names except Lightning. I've actually known a guy named Snow and a guy named Cloud, too, so they actually sound fairly normal (if exotic) to me.


ChichiriMuyo (on 03 February 2010)

What? All of these names are awesome, except Corn and Boomer Kuwanger.


Kai Master (on 03 February 2010)

Sky Render : thanks for Z2 info.


Sky Render (on 03 February 2010)

This isn't widely known, but Error is not a mistranslation of that character's name at all. However, his counterpart Bagu's name is. Bagu should be named Bug. Yes, Zelda 2 has a pair of characters named Bug and Error.


haxxiy (on 03 February 2010)

lol @ Poo and Error.


Gintoki (on 03 February 2010)

lol Noob Saibot


Red4ADevil (on 03 February 2010)

I wonder what Mr. Miyamoto thinks of what he did 20 years ago with *Donkey Kong* Hes probably laughing his ass off. I allways wondered why his name was "I AM ERROR".


Darc Requiem (on 03 February 2010)

I'm surprised that no one from the Evolution rpg series made the cut. Almost every character in that game had a bad weapon pun for a name. Mag Launcher Linear Cannon Gre Nade Pepper Box Chain Gun That looked like an item equip list and not a list of the cast. Also Cloud, Squall, Snow, and Lighting pretty damned lame as well.


Tayne (on 03 February 2010)

Remember to add Max Cougar from Bullet Witch if you ever make a part 2.


Kai Master (on 03 February 2010)

Donkey Kong was just a typo from Monkey Kong as I read on every history game book. Thanks for Zelda 2, I didn't know it was a typo, I thought of a bug... at least now because when i was a kid i couldn't read English, not even "error" ^^


Kalandorl (on 03 February 2010)

@deathcape Actually, butsu means "to hit", "buddha" or just an alternate reading of the kanji symbol meaning the general term for object. Maybe more. That's just what I can think of off the top of my head. Though you're probably right, Batsu meaning X is more likely.


deathcape (on 03 February 2010)

Bartz/Butz is written Batsu in romaji not Butsu Butsu means nothing


Faxanadu (on 03 February 2010)

Guido is a perfectly fine German first name. Nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of Guidos. Like our minister for the exterior.


--OkeyDokey-- (on 03 February 2010)

@ hahadumb I don't believe that the person with "hahadumb" as their username is older than 13.


--OkeyDokey-- (on 03 February 2010)

Am I immature for laughing out loud when I read Butz and Poo?


arsenicazure (on 03 February 2010)

My vote goes to bubsy the bobcat and johnny bazakatone.. Doesnt get worse than those 2...


hahadumb (on 03 February 2010)

I don't believe that the person who wrote this list is older than 13. You need some competent people on your staff.


andremop (on 03 February 2010)

But hey! Where's the coolest trio of frogs/acne infections in this list? Pimple/Rash/Zitz, anyone?


andremop (on 03 February 2010)

@The Ghost of RubangB It's Ed Boon and John Tobias! But LOL, excelent list! Butz and Poo are the best. Butz and Poo together for a new game... yuck!


The Ghost of RubangB (on 03 February 2010)

Man, Boomer Kuwanger should've just been Boomer Beetle. It still would've been a little lame, but we wouldn't be remembering it and making fun of it 15 years later. And Noob Saibot, sorry, I love the name. I think it flows off the tongue nicely. And wasn't it just Tobias Boon backwards? Wasn't that one of the progammers, not two? I could be wrong. I haven't paid attention to Mortal Kombat in years. I loved Noob Saibot when he first came out though. Also first use of Noob in gaming ever, which is pretty badass.


Sanzee (on 03 February 2010)

You forgot "Jet Brody" from Lucasarts' Fracture. Oh, it's so terrible even George Lucas wouldn't see it as potential story material. Seriously... Jet Brody. I'm Jet Brody, Jet cause I'm hardcore and Brody cause I have two first names! I'm Ricky Bobby and if you don't chew Big Red, then f*ck you.


ssj12 (on 03 February 2010)

noob saibot, i loved him.


aleusianacht88 (on 03 February 2010)

Sol Badguy is a legendary and well loved character, Ky Kiske is a much cooler name though who seems to be the main character. Who is the real protagonist? Sol or Ky?


lowkeyoh (on 03 February 2010)

Fayt Leingod was ok, but Edge Maverick?


spdk1 (on 03 February 2010)

lol! that's another funny one :D this could be another list that gets a sequel


CaptainHavok (on 03 February 2010)

What? No Kao Pi from Dynasty Warriors? (say it out loud)


GodOfWar_3ever (on 03 February 2010)

Butz...Poo - ROFL.... These top 10 lists rule !


spdk1 (on 03 February 2010)

LOL Zexen, I had no idea about that one due to my small amount of Spanish I know, that's awesome!


zexen_lowe (on 03 February 2010)

Oooohhhh..no Penelo, it sounds both like "pene" (penis) and "ponelo" (insert it) in Spanish, that has to be one of the worst


Mirson (on 03 February 2010)

Where's Fayt Leingod? Error and Seaman are funny.


RareglovE (on 03 February 2010)

Sol bad guy sounds ok, nothing wrong with that


tripleb2k (on 03 February 2010)

I AM ERROR. haha love it


loadedstatement (on 03 February 2010)

Rofl this is classic.