TalonMan's Epic E3 Journey: From Patty Melts to Booth Babes - P1 - Article

by Pat Fass , posted on 19 June 2010 / 2,546 Views

Introduction

In the articles that follow, I will be bringing you along my fantastic adventure through Downtown LA - from the pre-flight jitters to the mess my final leg of the journey became, I will detail every exciting moment of this trip. I will outline what the E3 experience delivered for me - while giving you a glimpse into what it was like to meet some of the 'anonymous' personas of VGChartz that up till this weekend, I had only known through IM's and avatar pictures.

So, take a break from the bombardment of E3 media for a few minutes - sit back and enjoy the ride, as we hit the ground running and explore my very first E3 journey...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Saturday - June 12th, 2010
Pre-Flight Warm-ups: The TalonMan Is Not a Fan of the Friendly Skies

10:30am - I wake up as I usually do on the weekend. Mutter around the house a bit after having been rudely woken by my youngest child. Routine doesn't change all that much - maybe some weekends my wife lets me sleep in, other times I let her sleep. Something was different this morning, though... ...oh yeah, in just over 5 hours I was going to be on a plane beginning my trek to LA!!! YIKES!!!!

For those that don't know, I'm not a fan of flying. Well, that's actually kind of putting it mild - I'm PETRIFIED of flying!!! Yeah, yeah - air travel is the safest blah-blah-blah and more people die from blah-blah-blah then they do from plane crashes - I've heard it all before and I'm not convinced! And the second the thought of getting on that plane crossed my mind, I was a broken man.

10:35am - I've cracked my first beer. Before I've even finished my first cup of coffee, I've started drinking beer. And not only that, I'm planting Jack Daniels shots right next to my beer. My wife's not particularly crazy about flying either - even less with my getting on a plane without her. So, I convince her she probably needs a drink too and soon enough, the alcohol is flowing strong between the two of us.

11:10am - I'm buzzed. No, I'm already passed buzzed. Jack Daniels has a way of messing with my head REAL good. So before lunchtime has even rolled around, I'm near smashed. Great. (for those that might be concerned about the welfare of either of my kids during all of this, you needn't be - one was sent to my sister-in-law, the other to a play date/sleepover at his friend's house)

12:30pm - Bags are now packed. No, I do not start packing days ahead of time - I'm a crappy flier, remember?!?!?!? I'm in denial right up to the point where I can no longer put off the inevitable. So for me to be fully ready with still another 2 hours before I need to be at the airport means, I'm ahead of the game - and have more time to drink.

2:00pm - My mom arrives, prepared to take us to the airport. I can see she does not approve of my condition, but hey I'm a grown man and she will just have to give me a pass for trying to dull my anxieties. We head on out making it down the NJ Turnpike right to the airport exit, when traffic comes to a complete stop. This should have been an omen for me - my traveling experiences were not going to go well.

3:10pm - Cutting it close now due to the traffic issue - I have a 4pm flight, and need to get moving! I make it to security and it's rather light today which is amazing, so I manage to get through in record time. I make it to my gate in plenty of time, and manage to get seated with little in the way of disruption. As noted before, I'm WELL past the point of drunk so I have no nervousness and I pass out before we even back away from the gate.

6:00pm - The plane touches down in Memphis, Tennessee and as if some internal alarm clock goes off, I wake up immediately. No longer drunk, just heavily hung-over and dehydrated, I stumble out of the plane ready to make a mad dash to my awaiting connection flight to LA. I grab my boarding ticket from check-in and while running down the hall, manage to pass one of the flight status monitors - my 7:30pm flight has now been pushed to 8:50pm. Hmmmm... ...ok. Well, that's not too bad I think to myself in my semi-sober stupor. I make my way over to a place called the Blue Note Cafe - not only am I starving, but this also happens to be the only place in the entire airport where you can smoke - so, as a smoker I've just stumbled upon a small slice of heaven.

As I'm eating and becoming more clear-headed - I start to realize that my arrival in LA has also now been delayed - this did not occur to me before while I was a bit more clouded. So instead of touching down at 9:30pm, it's going to be closer to 11pm when I get there. Bummer - that pretty much kills my first night since, in my East Coast Timezone mind it will really feel like 2am and I will probably be shot. Oh well, burger tastes good, cigarette tastes better - I'm ok with all of this.

9:05pm - Plane is finally boarding and we take-off. Not really much to report here as the flying was rather uneventful. I did have the fortunate honor of having the last row in the plane, which parked me right next to the bathroom. So, as the dozens of people made their way to the back of the plane every 5 minutes to relieve their bowels (couldn't they do this in the airport???) - I got to fall asleep to the gentle sounds of farts and toilet flushes (which, on an airplane, doesn't sound so much like a flush - rather, it sounds like somebody just blew a hole in the side of the plane).

11:10pm - Once again, my internal alarm clock goes off and I wake up at almost the exact moment of touch down. The plane cruises over to the gate, but then suddenly comes to a stop 100 feet passed the gate. The pilot comes on the intercom to tell us that apparently this particular plane needs to be towed into the gate. My guess? He taxied right by it and was unable to backup.

So we sit there... ...and we sit there... ...and we sit there.

10 minutes later the pilot comes on the loudspeaker again and apologizes - apparently there was a 'shift change' at the exact moment we landed, so while the airport people are punching time clocks we have to remain on this plane, and wait for somebody to come on duty and tow us in.

11:25pm - We're finally let off the plane and my next task is to find my bag that was checked back in NJ. Since I was having a connecting flight, my bag was not on the same plane with me and it was up to me to track down where it ultimately wound up. Fortunately, this only took about 20 minutes.

12:10am - I manage to board the Alamo courtesy shuttle so I can pick up my rental car. I was able to score a pretty sweet deal through Priceline, and was reserved for a compact car at $19 a day. As usual, I get to the counter prepared for a fight - but there was none, they had my info and the car was ready. I had neglected to pack my GPS, so decided it would be smart to rent one from Alamo... ...at $12 a day - almost the same cost as the freakin' car!!!! But that's what you get for convenience, so I sucked it up and paid it. Besides, I was already saving about $25 a day on the car so I was way ahead of the game.

Got my contract, headed out to get my car... ...and there are no compact cars left. Wonderful. So, I go back inside and tell the guy there aren't any left and, once again prepared for a fight, he tells me to just take any car in the garage. That definitely took me by surprise! So, I picked a new Jeep Cherokee and was FINALLY on my way to the hotel.

1:20am - I've arrived at the hotel. After circling the hotel about 4 times, I finally locate the parking garage and unpack the truck. I make my way inside and text Brett that I'm in the downstairs lobby. Seconds after that text, my phone rings and as I hear the British accent on the other side I realize that not only have I never met Brett, I've never even heard his voice!! How strange - and yet, he sounded about as I imagined he would.

I tell him I'm downstairs and before I know it, Jacob, Dean, Brett, and their friend Liam are there. A weird and yet familiar feeling comes over me as I physically meet Brett for the first time. As it was when he called my cell, it was strange - yet not all that surprising or awkward. Although I had seen his face and a few random pictures of him here and there, in person he looked exactly as I had guessed he would. Jacob, on the other hand, was about a foot taller than I would have ever imagined. I had no mental image of Dean, and Liam was a name I hadn't even heard before -but both were quite cool to meet, and were definitely well-adjusted people!

1:45am - We moved all my bags up to the room and decide to head out in search of beer. I'm completely sober at this point and am exhausted from all the travel but figure, a beer or two would be good just to settle in after a long day. Unfortunately, my brain is still on East Coast time, so now it's 4:45am in my head and I'm on the verge of falling down, I'm so tired.

We wonder down the street a bit and it seems Downtown LA shuts down at 2am. There wasn't a single bar open and we were about to call it a night, when Jacob manages to sight an IHOP. For those of you not familiar with IHOP, this is the International House of Pancakes chain restaurant - renowned for their pancakes, they have great food and are reasonably priced. Jacob's sighting also works in my favor for another reason and that is due to my alarmingly high level of fear with flying, I also have some very rigid superstitions about my flight days and one of them is that I will ALWAYS eat at an IHOP before I fly home - being in town for 1 hour and having Jacob locate one of these restaurants barely two blocks from our hotel, makes my quite happy!!!

We head in and I settle on my 3 eggs and pancakes and ask Jacob what he's getting - he says he's getting a burger, and I remember how great the patty melts are at IHOP (basically, a cheese burger on toasted rye bread with sautéed onions, for the uninformed). He agrees and decides that's what he's having. Dean, not knowing what the portion sizes are like in America, settles on a cheeseburger with chocolate chip pancakes on the side - we all get a kick out of watching Dean's face when, after just finishing the entire cheese burger, the waiter (with a very noticeable eye-tick) brings out this huge stack of 8 inch chocolate chip pancakes!

Not knowing what he's about to start, Jacob innocently offers a piece of his patty melt to Dean - his eyes widen as if he's just tasted the most amazing food in his life, and a new addiction is born. Denny's is long forgotten - IHOP is the new future!!!

3:20am - We finish up and, knowing there is no beer to be had anywhere, decide to head back to the hotel, which I'm grateful for. My brain is telling me it's 6:20am and I've been awake for almost 24 hours now. I stumble up to the room which has two queen beds and one couch, and I have no problem accepting the floor for the evening. I'm so tired at this point, it really doesn't matter WHERE I sleep - I could fall asleep standing up and be happy. 5 minutes after we turn the light off, I'm blissfully unconscious and sleep the sleep of the dead...

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