America - Front
America - Back
10th Apr 2009 | 1,632 views
How I got this game is a funny story... I'd already had an idea of how bad the game was from many other reviews... But seeing it about to be thrown away at Wal-Mart on the last-chance clearance rack for $10, I said, "What the hell...", and that was the first of many to come...
When you first open up the game, and if you read the instrunction manual, then you will notice several translation errors, such as "Hyper shadow", and "Rainbow Emerald"... Obviously not a good sign... If you get the PlatinumFamilyHits version, then these things will be removed, along with the things that should be in the game but aren't.
Tossing the manual aside, You put in the game and boot it up... It asks for the usual storage device to save to and such, and you can start your game, as sonic only. You'll watch an opening cutscene, and for a good 15 minutes, you won't even think it's a sonic game, until he finally shows up. after he speeds through a couple of mechs (replacing the good ole' badniks), you'll think this might be pretty entertaining... then Sonic whisks away the princess (named Elise), and almost immediately after, the cinematics stop, and you're thrown into a poorly-animated in-game cutscene, where Eggman simply snatches the princess from you. (this is an IRRITATING REPITITION in the game). after a few more cutscenes, you'll be put into the central hub of Soleanna... And you'll realise: Humans in this game are absolutely retarded and communicate through grunts, moans, and squeals, while animals can talk. All old people look and talk the same. Same with all of the Black guys, Gaurds, ect. You'll be put into an akward map system, and you'll reluctantly talk to a townsperson with a mission. he asks you if you will do the mission, and you say yes. You are met with this screen for 30 seconds:
Then the townsperson will re-explain the mission to you... Followed by another 30 seconds of:
And then finally, you'll get to attempt the (usually) 2-minute mission. You will either win or lose it, either way, for the next 30 seconds after you'll by greeted by your favorite friend IN High Definition: The loading screen:
OK, I'll stop doing that. But seriously, every single thing you do in this game is just like that, even worse at times. You will wait longer for the mission to load and unload, than the amount of time it takes to beat it.
Anyway, after that, win or lose, you'll probably go on to your first real level. When you play the first level of Sonic The , you will notice that none of sonics animations are complete, are all choppy, are terribly shadowed, and an eyesore just to watch. You'll notice that the Mechs, (and eventually, rival characters) are EXTREMELY CHEAP.
They can shoot you from any distance, and at automatic speed. You have to take them all out as soon as you see them. The enemies get worse as you go along. Collision detection is terrible. Rings literally Bounce away from you when you try to pick them up after you drop them. The water doesn't eve SPLASH when you fall it. The new jump-from-wall-to-wall mechanic is glitchy, and poorly programmed. Going into a shuttle loop can often result in having spider-man like, gravity-defying powers (especially as silver), or you will fall through solid ground completely (Sonic). If you touch anything while goin on a loop, you WILL fall and die. Eventually, you grab onto some whale, (Trying to re-create a Sonic Adventure 1 Scene) and are "holding it still" by grabbing it's dorsal fin. T_T. You automatically switch to AWFULLY-controlled Tails, in order to "Save" sonic. Tails's only real attack is a "Ring bomb", and it is terrible. You have no flight gauge like from Sonic Heroes, and he is awfully slow, and fairly glitchy.
He can even stand on 90-degree walls sometimes, if you don't land right onto a roof. Once you turn the switch, the gate "closes", (Read: moves half-way down), and the whale, although there is a perfect escape, turns around. If you don't make it in time. The whale swims out, bouncing through the ground. You will be given another 30-sec load screen, followed by another level.
After the no-stopping, Superman-64-glitchy, DEATH-tastic, race to the finish, "Hi-Speed" level (there is one of these in every one, and if you lose on it, you have to do everything all over again, and trust me, you WILL DIE at least once), you will be brought to load screens, a cutscene, more load screens, a glitchy boss-battle, more load screens, and a SonicxElise flirty scene that will drive Furry fans into a frenzy, followed by more load screens, and finally, you will be brought back to soleanna. This Cycle continues through all 3 characters' storylines, and if you beat the game a once with all three characters, whom you have to defeat in a cheap boss-battles, and replay the same modified levels 3 times, consider it a worthy accomplishment.
Speaking of the other characters, Shadow plays much slower than in Shadow The Hedgehog, with tankier vehicles, and a strange new "Chaos boost" power that unfortunately replaces Chaos control and Chaos Blast, and a weaker "Chaos Lance", that replaces Chaos spear, and NO GUNS. (More lies: the JP website says that he can use gems like sonic) Ironically, Shadow and Silver are less glitchy than Sonic. Speaking of Silver, his "Psychokenisis", is fun at first, but after about an hour, it is flat out frustrating and ANNOYING, as controls about as bad as the "good" force powers in The Force Unleashed. Coupled with his aggrivatingly slow speed, he sounds like an 8 YEAR OLD. (You can blame 4kids for that one). Knuckles makes a few brief playable comebakcs, but he, along with rouge, control TERRIBLY, get stuck on walls, won't stick to most walls, and should have been dropped altogether. E123 Omega's voice and gameplay change for worse, along with Amy's newfound ability to turn invisible. Blaze is also back, but they've changed her story and made her suck.
The story tries to take itself too seriously, involving some kind of plot with time-travel, and Sonic's love affair with Elise. Amy doesn't even do anything to stop it. Oh, and two spoilers: The Chaos Emeralds Can now bring people back to life apparentl , and with a kiss. And: SONIC DIES.
The voice acting is terrible, as seen here, with Elise having the only acceptable voice as the ONLY hollywood voice actor. [Spoiler]:
The multiplayer is in both a split-screen co-op mode and a split-screen competitive mode, almost identical to playing the single-player, and is twice as broken.
Apparently, not only do you have to BUY basic abilities, but there are also these new "gems", that give you special abilities as sonic only. they are HIGHLY Glitchy. according to the manual, if I got all of them, I'd get a rainbow chaos emerald and be able to become supersonic at will, like the good ole' days. Sadly, none of this is true. They never finished the SS homing-attack animations, so he is only playable in the final level. ._.
I got alll but one of the gems, and I can also say, that they are rediculous. A quick rundown:
Blue: Gives you a speed boost. run into anything, and you will fall on your ass.
Red: Slows down time and enemies. Very cheap in multiplayer, and will probably result in injury.
Yellow: Sonic stops, kicks around, and makes a whirlwind.
Green: a lightning shield akin to that on Sonic The Hedgehog 3. (I did not get, because I was out of Rings)
White: Infinite homing attack. Don't bother. I have it and it is useless.
Purple: Make sonic TINY. Hard to control and useless, but probably the most entertaining of the bunch.
I can count the good things about this game on one hand: You can homing attack rails, a first in the series. You can play co-op again. Oh wait, it's broken, but nice try. You get to listen to Zebrahead Orchestrated Zebrahead. Crap. The levels have a nice artistic apocolyptical touch to them? Argh, I give up.
If you MUST know what happens in the game, and plan on getting it JUST for the story, you should probably go watch it on youtube, and save yourself a few bucks. This game is terrible. It is THE worst Sonic game ever. If anyone intends to get this game for achievements, think again. A 1000/1000 is humanly impossible. You will probably kill yourself first. Also, although I only watched it, don't bother with the DLC. It is terrible as well. Just go buy Sonic & The Secret Rings, Sonic & The Black Knight Or Sonic Unleashed instead. They are all much better games.