valen200

User Score
1.8

Presentation - 1.5
Gameplay - 4.0
Value - 1.5

Valen200's game stats

Price I paid: 10 USD

Time spent playing: approx. 3 hours

Why purchased: Having bought Turtles: Smash-up and Scribblenauts I was having a great

time with my purchases and all was right with the world. The part of me that hates myself sought to fix this problem.

The Review:

   For a moment pretend that Wolfenstein (the orginal ground-breaking fps) and GoldenEye had a secret tryst that produced two love children. Then assume those love children had an inbred offspring bound for the shortbus. This would be that game.

   The orignal concept hyped on the box sounds promising. Play through a randomly genrated map, looking for 5 disks. If that premise were delivered on there could be a budget games worth of entertainment . Having played on 2 different Wiis, I honestly don't know what is random aside from item drop locations. Both maps seem identical. It could be that only the drops are random, or maybe the bland walls look the same at every turn. I couldn't tell you which is true, only that it does not feel random at all. Even with the wall patterns and enemies changing every few levels the game is a boring maze made more difficult by the sameness of the enviroment.

  I could maybe look past the hynotic dullness if it were not for the games most damning flaw: I feel like a bad person when I play it. I feel like I am a schoolyard bully pushing around defenseless children in wheelchairs. The AI and sound effects are truly that horrible. Half the time, upon rounding a corner I am able to shoot an enemy in the back of the head as he runs in a randomly incorrect direction. Compunding this slaughter is the mismatched noise that accompanies a kill. It is the sound of a mentally handicapped baby harp seal being clubbed to death. I just can't play this game without feeling somehow unwholesome and evil.

   The sad shame of it is - I like the controls. The cursor is fluid. Quick turns are great. Strafing is simple. What a waste of a good control scheme.

    Simply avoid this game at any price. It is a mess of a FPS that oddly resembles much better games from the roots of the genre.  You would be better off playing any one of them.